Is That Satanic?

Poor Bobby Bouche. In the movie, “Waterboy,” his Mama kept him firmly under her thumb by telling him everything in the world – from women to “foosball” to college – was the devil. She’s supposed to be a caricature, but part of what makes her performance so funny is the grain of truth.

More than just a grain, actually. A whole beach-full of grains.

I found this particular meme funny because I’ve seen people say exactly that in all sincerity. Yoga is the devil. It’s satanic. So is meditation, anything to do with chakras, crystals… you get the point.

There’s even someone making money scaring Christian women about “Spirit Husbands.” Yeah, because any kind of dream involving sex can’t possibly just mean that you’re horny. NOPE. It’s the devil! And so are those vile toys you play with. And THAT, dear sisters, is why you can’t get yourself a man. (Seriously! That’s what the ad says!) I guess they can’t make any money telling young women they’re too silly and gullible for a man to find them attractive?? That makes more sense than the idea that your ideal Godly Husband is being mystically repelled by the demon sharing your bed at night.

By the way… would it not be better for a single woman to deal with her urges with a vibrator so she’s not so tempted to do anything “sinful” with a real man? Yeah, I know. She’s supposed to completely suppress and stamp out those urges until she reaches her marriage bed, then turn them back on like flipping a switch. That’s SO realistic. But I digress.

I thought about taking time in this article to discuss the scientific studies on meditation and yoga and the many ways they’ve been found healthy and beneficial. But reasonable people already know this and the ones who think they’re demonic aren’t going to be swayed by science. So I’ll save myself the time and effort.

But I will adamantly say that Paganism is not Devil-worship. When I am out in nature, and I meditate by a stream and a tree, I try to connect with the energy of the Earth. I’m not positive yet if I believe that energy is some form of conscious divine being like an actual Goddess or God, or if I think it’s just the magnetic energy of the planet itself. Like the first time I held a crystal and really focused on it, and felt what I can only describe as a vibration. A vibration that was completely different from the next crystal I held. Crazy right? But very cool!

Divine being or just electromagnetic field? Right now I could go either way. I do, however know one thing it is not: Satanic, or evil in any way.

In fact – and this will come as a shock to the fundamentalists who might have read this far, as if you could be any more shocked at my heresy – most Pagans, Wiccans, witches, etc don’t even believe Satan exists. I no longer do. I especially don’t worship him.

I spent 20 years going to an “old-fashioned Pentecostal altar” and feeling the spiritual energy of that place. And guess what? I feel the exact same energy sitting under a full moon with a candle meditating. There’s absolutely no difference. Except of course for all the fear. That stayed behind in the Pentecostal altar. It’s their specialty, so I let them keep it.

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