Full Moon Meditation: Compromise or Self Betrayal?

Finally! After missing last full moon completely – I had just pulled a tendon and was drugged out of my mind at the time – I actually made it outside for this one. She was glorious, the weather was perfect. I really needed the time under her gaze.

This month’s full moon was in Libra, and included a total eclipse, or blood moon. You couldn’t really see the eclipse on the American East Coast so I didn’t bother getting up early to try. Instead I spent my time outside on Friday night, when technically the moon was still waxing with a little less than 12 hours before the moment of actual fullness.

A Libra full moon with Sun in Aries… I read this time was about balance in relationships. Balancing the needs of Me with the needs of others I’m close to. This was a difficult one for me. I’m still “in the broom closet” to most of my family.

My husband, in particular. He’s overseas as a contractor. I’ve gone back and forth about how much to try and hide or reveal when he comes home on vacation. It’s occurred to me over the last week or so just HOW MUCH he’s going to freak out. He’s still very much a fundamentalist Christian. He’s going to see this as a betrayal of everything he believes in. Do I soften what I really think to keep from hurting him?

Then again, I’ve kind of done that our whole married life. Don’t I have a right to believe what I want to believe? To be who I truly am? I didn’t explore this path to spite him, and I can’t help it that it’s so right for ME. I wish there was a way to explain it without triggering his “you’re going to go to Hell! You’re worshiping demons in my home!” reaction.

That’s kind of the crux of this month’s full moon. Where is the line? Where is the acceptable line between compromise, not hurting someone else, and betraying your own self?

I’ll let you know if I find it.

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